November 3, 2015

october postcard




Lying in the surgery, looking at the polystyrene ceiling tiles, glad I put JoJo under 'preferred name' not realising how much relief a name I chose for myself would provide in a place that produces so much anxiety. The door opens and the nurse comes back in pushing a metal trolley with instruments that tinkle as she walks. She apologises for the delay and checks the foam wedge beneath my right shoulder. The doctor comes in. I expect her to call me JoJo but she calls me buttons instead and for a moment I smile and forget about the biopsy she is about to take from the lump in my right breast.

Australia Post Box Albury Street, Deagon.

October 1, 2015

september postcard



Funny thing: doing hard things is hard. Obvious, but living with doubt and taking hit after hit does mess with your perspective. Need to pick myself up and do the thing I think I cannot do. Need to keep on swimming. Need to have faith in myself. Need to remember the bigger goal. Hard things are hard.

Australia Post Box Stanley Street, East Brisbane

August 28, 2015

august postcard


 

It always happens when I least expect it. I think I'm on top of it all, but then something happens and the mask falls away and it's revealed to all that everything is not ok. I'm surprised to discover that I had been wearing a mask, so gradual had been the hiding, but in that moment it is obvious and I am bewildered by how un-self-aware I can be. I always think of myself as a terrible liar, but perhaps the only person I can lie to is myself.

Australia Post Red Hill


July 27, 2015

july postcard



I think I understand why people quit in their last year of uni - the carrot looks smaller the closer you get, not bigger. I understand now why people walk away when they're so close. It's the mental battle with themselves that does them in. Five years in and only one year to go. Worn out. Resilience running low. But I finally understand. This is when you find out what you're really made of.

Australia Post Sandgate